


98° in Texas and You're Wearing a Sweater?

by Sassy_Dinosaur



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Feels, Depressed Castiel, Donuts, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Feels, Fluffy Ending, Implied Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Implied shower sex, M/M, Self-Harm, Sweaters, The Impala - Freeform, Worried Dean, dean doesnt know but cas does, deans pov, gigantor food, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 04:23:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3714886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassy_Dinosaur/pseuds/Sassy_Dinosaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After castiel fell he couldnt handle the pain and guilt he felt and found an unhealthy outlet. What happens when Dean finds out?</p><p>                                                    ~Trigger warning for self harm~</p><p>Really fluffy ending... and now fixed/updated!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	98° in Texas and You're Wearing a Sweater?

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you that have read this before ...(if your rereading my stuff thank you)... I reread this and say how many mistakes there were. It's fixed now, I think, so please enjoy... again...

Dean notices Cas wearing a sweater. It wouldn't be so weird if it weren't 98 degrees outside, in August, in Texas! Cas is obviously hot in the sweater, how could he not be? The motel room they're in has a fan, but no AC. Dean, on the other hand, has been in a plain gray t-shirt and light jeans all day. The heat was really getting to him.

Sam, the bastard, had gone to the library. Leaving a very irritable Dean in a not air-conditioned room with Cas, 'it could have been worse, although' Dean thought to himself. Seriously how can Cas not be dying in this heat, in that sweater?

"Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"Cas, babe, how are you not dying in this heat with a sweater on?" Dean questioned

"I'm cold." Cas responded flatly

"Okay." Dean said taking a suspicious glance at his boyfriend.

****

When Sam returned he was surprised at what he saw. Cas had his nose in a book, not unusual, but it's 98 degrees outside, and he has a sick sweater on. Sam turn to Dean with a questioning look; Dean shrugged. He'd ask later he decided heading for his bed with a lore book.

**DEAN'S POV**

When I woke up Cas wasn't in the bed, I saw the bathroom light on though. The door opened slowly, steam seeping out around the top, disappearing into the tiny kitchen/sitting area. Cas stepped out of the bathroom hugging a sweater over his head, arms already in their holes. I caught a glimpse of his toned stomach. 'Why's he hiding that gorgeous body a sweater?'

"Hey." I said sounding more groggy than I intended. I wrapped my arms around Cas's waste, putting my chin on his shoulder. "I'm hungry, you wanna come with me to get donuts and salad for Gigantour over there?"

Cas laughed quietly nodding in agreement. He turned around to kiss me, I'd gladly return the kiss.

"Get dressed so we can go." he said. I kissed him once more before I shuffled to our bed, grabbing some clothes out of the duffle.

****

I closed the door quietly, not wanting to wake up Sam; he needs his beauty sleep.

****

Bohemian Rhapsody played loudly in Baby as Cas and I drive a couple towns over to a donuts shop next to a vegetarian restaurant. It's a hundred and two degrees outside, and Cas still has a sweater on. Cas wipes some sweat from his brow, he looked miserable.

'How's he doing this?'

"Cas, I can tell you're really hot, just take off the sweater."

"It's not that bad Dean." he said, still refusing to roll up his sleeves, 'Cas, babe, what's going on in your head right now?' I ask myself.

I looked over at him, still driving, he was sweating a lot; and I mean a lot!

"Babe, you're sweating like a pig."

"No I'm not Dean. Pigs don't sweat." he responded

"What?" I said genuinely confused by his response.

"Pigs don't have sweat glands, therefore I can't be sweating like a pig since they don't sweat."

"Umm... okay." we sat in silence for a good five minutes before parking at the donuts shop.

"Cas it's 102 degrees outside why are you in a sweater?"

"I'm cold." this response is getting old.

"Cas if there's something going on please tell me.", I tried to keep a calm voice, not wanting to scare Cas or make him think I was angry.

"Fine I'm not cold, I just like the sweater. Now can we get some food I'm hungry?"

"Yeah, sure, but we're talking later." I assured him.

"Fine." Cas said in an almost whisper.

****

When we got Gigantor food and donuts we started driving back to the motel. Cas was really quiet on the way back, lost in his own head.

I hadn't noticed he was scratching at something until he spoke... well cursed, loudly.

"Ow! Shit!" he yelled rubbing his arm, 'he must've gotten hurt'.

"You okay?"

No response

"Cas. You okay, what happened?"

"I'm fine Dean."

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm fine" he assured me. He wasn't very convincing, but before I could continue investigating the situation we were at the motel.

****

The three of us ate our food. Laughing at Sam's hair mostly, it was everywhere, going every which way. Sam went to grab a shower after we finished eating. I took my chance to talk to Castiel.

"Cas, seriously what's with the sweater?"

"I like it, Dean." Cas almost whined

"So do I, but it's over 100 degrees outside, and no better in here."

"So?"

"So, it's too hot to be wearing it, you could give yourself a heart stroke."

At this moment Cas looked down at the floor instead of me. He looked like he was thinking through something, trying to find words.

His mouth opened and closed a few times. Like he couldn't find the words to say. "Dean..." I remained silent, knowing whatever it was, was important. "I... I don't know how to say what I want to say."

"What do you want to say?" I'm not really sure I want to know the answer.

Instead of answering, Cas peels off the sweater. His bare chest is covered in thin, some thick, scars and cuts. Looking over him, Cas had even more on his arms and wrists. One wrist, in particular, looked torn to shreds with fresh cuts, one cut looked reopened. 'That's probably what hurt earlier'.

"Wha-... why?"

"It helps not feel the emotional pain falling has ensured... and distracts me from the guilt I feel all the time, Dean. I understand if you're mad or angry bu-"

I didn't let him finish, I wrapped my arms around him in a brutal hug. I felt wetness on my shoulders, he must have started crying. I was also crying, shamelessly, my boyfriend was hurting and I hadn't noticed, "Its okay. I'm not mad at you, Cas."

"You're not?" I wiped away the years streaming down his face. 'How did I not see this?' I asked myself.

"No, I'm not mad just surprised and upset at myself for not seeing that you are hurting." I felt a tear run down my cheek, "Why didn't you come to me- or Sam?" I asked trying to keep my voice even.

"I didn't want you to worry, I was an Angel of The Lord for my father's sake! I... I just didn't want you to worry about me. I'm sorry, Dean."

"Its okay, you're not in trouble, I'm not mad." we're sitting on the floor and I'm holding his shaking body. Cas is shaking too bad to stand.

****

Cas broke the silence we'd been sitting in. "Sam's been in there a while." he was looking at the bathroom door. The shower no longer running, but the light was still on.

"Sammy?" I ask knocking on the door. When no one answered I opened the door, on one is in here. Put lightly, I panicked!

"SAMMY?" I shouted

"Where is he?" Cas asks

"I don't know, he's not here!" I reply with a shaky voice.

"Call him, his cellphone isn't here, and the Impala's still here."

“Okay.” I say while dialing his number.

The phone rings three times before someone picks up

Dean: “You son of a bitch! Where are you?”

Sam: “I’m fine, Dean.”

Dean: “Where. Are. You. Sam?”

Sam: “I’m with Gabe.”

Dean: “Why?”

Sam: “We heard crying, so he snapped us out of the bathroom to some… where. I’m guessing- actually, I don’t know, but Gabe’s here, so I’m safe. Is Cas okay?”

Dean: “Yes he fin- WAIT!- we. Bathroom. Together? Gross! TMI Sammy!” Sam is laughing on the other side, I could faintly hear someone else laughing too, probably Gabriel. I hung up and throw my phone on the bed next to me.

“Is he okay?” Cas asks

“Yes, he’s with Gabriel. Did you know about them? Together?”

“Yes, didn’t you?”

“No!” I take a deep breath, “that's a conversation I’ll never forget.” I breathe

Cas giggled and blushed.

“So, you okay now?” I ask between kisses

“Yes Dean I’m ‘okay now’”

“Look Cas, I’m not going to demand you stop cutting, or that you throw away whatever you used… all I ask is that when things get bad, instead of cutting, come to me. Okay?”

“Okay Dean”


End file.
